Call me a jerk or whatever you call me in the comment section when you think I’m not reading, but if there’s one thing I get hyped for it’s watching a good fight on scripted reality television. Hit me with the side eye and any type of shade you’d like, but it is what it is. My thirst for ratchet scripted reality television was quenched when the supertrailer for my beloved “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” hit my inbox. I’m serious. You would’ve thought my name was Amanda Bynes and Drake just got finished murdering my box the way I was acting. (Okay, that last analogy was way too over the top, but you follow where I’m going with this.)
Needless to say the three minutes and fifty one seconds of the “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” supertrailer had more fights than Tyler Perry has haters. So I took the liberty to get you ready for the show’s April 22nd VH1 premiere by letting you know about some of the fights you’ll see this upcoming season. Don’t worry, there’s way too much drama in this season so we couldn’t possibly have fit all of the details into this post. Just make sure you tune in to VH1 on April 22nd at 8pm. For now, check out the eight fights we’re looking forward to this season.
1. Joseline Hernandez vs. The Keyshia Cole Look-A-Like Moonlighting As Stevie J’s New Artist
You know how the story goes. Stevie J picks up a woman by promising the moon and the stars when it comes to getting in the studio. He then sexes them crazy, impregnantes them, and makes them get an abortion. (Notice I said nothing about music production.) This season it’s not Joseline acting all crazy in love, it’s some Keyshia Cole looking chick who hasn’t met a tattoo needle she didn’t like.
2. Shay “Buckee” Johnson vs. Lil Scrappy
Scrappy famously put the paws on Stevie J in the first season for calling his fiancee/baby momma Erica Dixon a female dog. It looks like Scrappy is the one who’s going to be ducking and dodging “Buckee” Shay’s paws. (I’m officially changing her name to “Buckee” Shay. Deal with it.) You know the old adage, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” If that’s the case I don’t want to know what kind of fury a woman scorned on national television has bottled up.
3. K. Michelle & A Bouquet of Flowers vs. MiMi
K. Michelle has gone from clocking eternal 29-year-olds in the face with rolled up cutlery to busting women in the head with some roses. Hopefully, MiMi picked out all of the thorns that might have gotten caught in her weave.
4. Karlie Redd vs. Benzino
Of all of the things to fight about, Karlie Redd and Benzino argue at ignorant levels over Joseline’s sextape. Why haven’t they argued about why Benzino can grow muscles and no neck? Why not argue about how Karlie Redd is still claiming she’s 29 despite having been 29 for the last 29 years?
5. Rasheeda vs. Kirk
We have good news and bad news. The good news is Rasheeda has a nice little bun in the oven. The bad news is Kirk doesn’t think it’s his. Let the drama begin…
6. Stevie J vs. MiMi
They have a child together so they’ll never be free of one another. However, the constant vacillation between romance and abhorrence reaches its breaking point. Mimi becomes way more independent and Stevie can’t deal which leads him to say the creepiest mafia boss line ever, “Where you live? You know I can find you!” Stage five clinger, anyone?
7. K. Michelle vs. Rasheeda
There were rumors these two shot the fair one at the reunion show last season. People who weren’t at the live taping didn’t get a chance to see the brawl. We will this season. What will K. Michelle pick up and throw at Rasheeda?
8. K. Michelle vs. Kirk
He can accuse his wife of cheating on him, but let K. Michelle throw an ice cube at the Georgia peach and all hell breaks loose. Knowing K. Michelle, she’ll have some witty quips about Kirk in her confessionals.
