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Kandi Burruss wants to help men enhance their “super powers.” In 2012 the singer, songwriter and reality TV star launched a line of intimacy enhancers called Bedroom Kandi. Since today is her birthday and the best kind of sex is birthday sex, we wanted to share Kandi’s advice for men wanting to use a toy or two with their women.

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“Women, if we’re really in love with our man, we’re not trying to replace you,” she tells TheUrbanDaily.com. “That is not the point. We only just want to have more fun. We just want to experience what you’re experiencing. A lot of times men get theirs EVERY time. Fellas, don’t be selfish!”

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